The Birth Wars (Part 1)


Oh, I love, love, love being around pregnant women and the process of birth. It’s a subject that never gets old for me. I’ve been the labor nurse/birth assistant at hundreds of births and consider myself supremely lucky to go to work every day to do what makes me happy. So, I guess it makes sense that it would be a debate about birth that would be the precipitating factor to do something as out of character for me as starting a blog.

I’ll talk about birthing babies to anyone who’ll listen. We just met? Doesn’t matter. I’d love to hear your birth story (or your wife’s or partner’s or whatever), and don’t leave out any of the gory details; I’ve heard it or seen it before. Oh, and can I share my birth stories with you? Both of them? Each one was incredible in it’s own way. We can compare notes, and commiserate, and bond over such a life changing experience.

Except…..there’s a good chance that’s not what’s going to happen. Something about such a personal event makes us feel worried or defensive or militant when we come across someone who’s made a very different choice than we did…..and then begin the Birth Wars.

You know what I’m talking about. If you’ve had a baby you’ve probably had an uncomfortable conversion or two. There are blogs and message boards all over the internet where mostly moms, but sometimes others, fight tooth and nail about why their birth was better, smarter, and safer than yours. You got an epidural? Then you drugged your baby and missed a bonding opportunity which can’t be replaced. You had a home birth? The you put your desires and your fantasy birth scenario ahead of your baby’s safety.

Ugh.

We need to be kinder to our fellow parents and more open and accepting of different philosophies in general for ALL our sakes. In the interest of not writing a novel for each post I’ll wait until next time to tell you exactly what got me all riled up and in the meantime, leave a comment, follow or share this blog or better yet, tell me about your birth story. I promise not to judge.

8 thoughts on “The Birth Wars (Part 1)

  1. Caroline says:

    I so love this. I listen to other stories more often that I’m able to share my own (I can be really shy sometimes and let other people control conversations), I enjoy doing both though. But it’s always a bummer when someone is obviously trying to “one up” you. Double bummer when someone thinks you’re trying to “one up” them when all you were doing was trying to share in a conversation.
    My baby girls are 7 and 4 1/2 now. The oldest was breech at 37 weeks. My OB and I made a plan. She’d schedule a c-section for the next week, but I’d come in earlier than needed to allow her to try to turn the baby and then induce. If that didn’t work (and it didn’t), we would continue with the scheduled c-section. So with an epidural and a c-section to help, she was born at 11:07am. Healthy 6lbs, 7oz.
    My youngest was also breech at 37 weeks, so another c-section and a spinal. Small, but healthy 5lbs, 10oz.
    No complications, no regrets. Just healthy, happy babies. 🙂

  2. Maria says:

    Obviously, every woman, child, and birth is different. I agree that the oneupsmanship that seems to happen over birthing children is soooo silly! Having a healthy child as the result of any birthing process is the most important thing. This also seems to happen so much with breast-feeding. I was lucky enough to nurse my daughter for the first year but I know many women who had the desire and drive to do it but it just didn’t happen—there always seems to be judgement there as well. I think we all need to embrace our fellow mothers and appreciate the lengths we have all gone to for our children no matter what our choices in birthing or nursing!

  3. […] The Birth Wars (Part 1) (thepassionatemoderate.wordpress.com) […]

  4. Okay – I thought I’d leave you Cason’s birth story since you came and checked us out when he was only three days old – way back in Jan! So excited to follow your blog!

    http://thestillers.blogspot.com/2012/03/casons-birth-story.html

  5. […] The Birth Wars (Part 1) (thepassionatemoderate.com) Share this:FacebookTwitterPinterestEmailLinkedInMoreTumblrStumbleUponDiggRedditLike this:LikeBe the first to like this post. This entry was posted in birth, breastfeeding, Parenting, Uncategorized and tagged Attachment Parenting, breastfeed, Breastfeeding, Co-sleeping, Infant, Mother, Parent, Parenting, Sears, Time, Time Magazine.Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment […]

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